Waiting on the other side

I sit here tonight with anticipation, hope, fear...all of the unknown.

But this time, it's not for me...it's for my friend.

I have several friends currently in the adoption process, several are currently waiting for 'the call'. Some are waiting to be united with their children currently living in other countries, and some are currently waiting for the call that a expecting mother has chosen them to parent her child. It's exciting!

And as I sit here right now chatting with a friend on facebook...yes, RIGHT NOW...about whether or not to present their profile TONIGHT, I am flooded with emotions. We've been through this twice and both were different in so many ways. But the emotions were the same. The excitement of 'the call', learning about our soon to be child.

What will he look like?
What will her personality be?
Will he have a lot of hair?
Will she be bald?

But the emotions are bitter sweet. You see, my greatest day is another women's greatest sorrow. The day I meet my child is the day she says goodbye.

So as I sit here chatting with my friend about a possible adoption situation, my mind is thinking about this expecting mother. She is in labor, right now.

What is going through her mind?
How long has she considered adoption?
And why?
What in her life has led her to this point?

My prayer tonight is with this mother. I pray that she is confident in her decision to place her child for adoption. For the adoptive parents? Well, selfishly yes...but not just for them. More than for my friends, I pray this mother is 100% confident for herself. Adoption is forever and while there is often a relationship between birth parents and adoptive parents, it is not the same as parenting the child yourself. This mom is choosing another parent to love her child, to kiss her goodnight, to teach her how to love and how to love others. She is choosing another life for her child, another path than she would have if adoption wasn't the option. I have the most respect for a mother that chooses adoption. I don't know how they do it. These mothers must be incredibly strong and brave...because this is the most selfLESS thing a person can do.

So, as I sit here tonight chatting, texting, and talking on the phone in to the late hours, I think about this mother considering adoption tonight. I am also thinking, as I do daily, about the 2 amazing mothers that gave birth to our children. Both are incredibly special to us. Their stories are as different as night and day, their backgrounds and histories and their reasons for adoption. I am praying an extra prayer for them tonight. Love them both.

Going through this, as I walk beside my friends, is well...awesome. Everyone who knows me knows that my heart is passionate for adoption...for children who need families. I often feel like I'm shouting YES YES YES to every situation...regardless if it's a good 'fit' for my friends or not. So, as I sit here tonight, anxiously thinking about their profile being sent over to the agency, I am secretly shouting YES YES YES!!! See, they are taking a leap of faith tonight and I love them for it. This situation is 99% perfect for their family. But that 1% requires a step of faith...and they are taking it. They may or may not be chosen by this mother. It is her choice, as it should be. And she will choose the best family for her child. I hope that my friends are the family she is looking for...but ultimately, I pray that she finds the perfect family for her. I pray for her tonight. I pray for her peace in this situation. I pray for her health and the baby's health. I pray her labor is easy and that she has the chance to love and hold her baby and been confident in the decision she makes, whether it is adoption or parenting.

So here I sit, waiting on the other side...