An amazing weekend away

We came home Sunday from a great weekend away. This time last year we joined several other adoptive families in the mountains for a quick get-away. A time to relax with others...before the weekend was over, everyone was already talking about 'next year'.

Once again, it was amazing. A time to simply relax with other parents who 'get it'. Parents who understand the journey that adoption is. The heartache, triumph, happy tears and sad tears. Parents who can laugh with you and understand things that only a person who has experienced the journey can. The kids have as much fun as we do and it is so awesome that they see so many other families built like ours. I truly believe that we are building lifetime friendships...not just us parents, but our kids too. How awesome is that?

We drove (literally) all night Thursday, arriving at 2:30am. That was rough...but the kids were AMAZING and slept the whole way. Friday morning we awoke and started our weekend with our friends. There were so many parts of this weekend that were amazing.

Silly laughter at 2am in the hotel hallway with friends.
Watching Bug swim for the first time all by herself...even if it was only a 2ft pool.
Seeing Hulk playing with the 'big kids'...and then realizing that HE was one of the big kids.
Girls night out with just us Mommy's...no hubby's, no kids.
Snuggles from my babies after a super long day at the pool

One moment that I would love to share happened Friday night. We all met at a banquet hall for a catered meal. It was great, and we were all able to mingle and chat. Last year we did something similar, introduced ourselves and our families. My sweet boy stood up last year and introduced himself as Hulk...made mention about how he turns green when he's mad and growled. Total laughter throughout the room.

This year however, was a little different. If you've read THIS POST, you will know about the wonderful decision he made last week. Well, this evening he whispered in my ear if he could talk in the microphone. I said yes. After introducing our family, he takes the microphone and says:

"You might want to know that I became a Christian this week. It's important. If you haven't asked Jesus to live in your heart...you might want to do that."

*applause*

Wow! He's EIGHT! And he just took a microphone and told 100 people that he is a Christian. He proclaimed his beliefs to 100 people at one time.

It always amazes me when people talk about how quiet he is. Because he's not. He has no problem speaking in front of a crowd and has done so time and time again. It's always quick...but he loves it.

Super proud of my kids. I know I seem to brag a lot about them...but they amaze me each day. I loved seeing them play and meet new friends this weekend. Hulk loved seeing so many families like ours and Bug just loved having so many friends to play with.

Can not wait for this weekend again next summer!!

Twice Adopted

In October 2012, my amazing grandmother passed away. My brother and I were the only grandchildren, so I think our bond was pretty special. Maybe everyone has that bond with their grand parents? I don't know...but I think my grandmother was pretty awesome.

I've always loved her...but the day she laid eyes on my son...oh, that love grew and grew even stronger. See, the bond she and I had? Nothing compared to the bond that she and my son had. They connected...in a big way. Hulk was 3 1/2 months old when he came home. And she loved him from the first moment she saw him...and he loved her too.

Meeting for the first time

I will never know what made that instant connection, but if she was in the room, he wanted to be near her. He would crawl across restaurant tables to see her and she would sit at the table and play with play-do with him for hours.

Always a big hug for Nanny

She wasn't a young great grandmother...she was in her 90s when she passed away. So it wasn't like she was out playing ball or riding bikes with him. But he wanted to be near her. He wanted to help her. He wanted to talk to her and hug her and simply love her.  During the last couple years, she lived at a nursing home. My son LOVED visiting with her. He would sit by her and share his newest action figure and tell her all about his days at school. He would draw pictures for her. Share secrets and watch baseball on tv. They were connected.

Nanny with her 4 Great Grand Children....she loved them so much!

And then she got sick. Very sick.

She was admitted to the hospital and stayed for a very long time. Hulk longed to see her and often he wasn't allowed. Either because of her stay in ICU (no kids) or because I simply didn't want the memory of her 'bad days' to be his last memories.

And then...she suddenly got better. She was eating again and wanting to sit up and talking to us. And Hulk and Bug got to visit again. I am so thankful for that day.

For it was that day that they heard her say 'I love you SO much' once again.
They were able to visit a few more times, but....

In the hospital...this day was super special.

She was gone soon after.

And my tears still flow.
And Hulk's tears still flow.

I miss her so much.

Her death brought on a lot of questions from Hulk. Big questions about life and death. Heaven and Hell. For months, I have been answering questions.

And tonight, after a long long discussion with Hulk, makes me miss Nanny even more. Because I want to call her and tell her what an amazing impact she had on my son. I want to tell her thank you for being the example that she was to him. I want to tell her thank you for loving him unconditionally. I want to tell her thank you for that immediate bond that they had.

I want to pick up the phone and call her and tell her what happened tonight.

She impacted my son's life so much in the 7 years they had together...and yet it may have been her death that impacted him most.

Tonight, my son asked Christ to live in his heart. He said he wanted to live forever in Heaven and live his life on earth for Jesus. He said he wanted to tell everyone about Jesus and that he wanted Him to be in his heart. We talked for a long time. I answered a ton of questions. And he talked a LOT of Nanny.

Tonight I held my son's hand as he asked Christ to save him. I am overwhelmed. He has a heart of gold and tonight he went to bed a Christian. He will change the world...no doubt.

Tonight I am going to bed overwhelmed by so much going on in life right now. But my heart is full and I am so thankful for so much.

I am thankful for a great family that has 'walked the walk' and been an example for my kids. My parents and my in laws are awesome...couldn't ask for better examples for my kids. I'm thankful for my Nanny and the relationship that they had because I truly believe that it was that relationship...that bond, that prompted so many questions when she passed away. I'm thankful for his VBS teachers who shared this gospel with him this week.

And I'm thankful that my son is now adopted into the family of Christ. He was adopted 8 years ago into our family. He has now been twice adopted. 

Loving VBS!

Bumps, boo boos, tears and fears

Yesterday was Independence Day. We celebrated with family and had a great day. It was rainy...I mean RAINY all day. We made the most of it and took the kids to the movies in the morning and let them play with cousins all afternoon. After supper (a mighty fine supper I might add) we let all the kids play out in the massive mud puddle out front. Yea, I know...they loved it. Bug came walking over to me and simply fell. Don't know if she tripped over her feet or if she tripped on the edge of the driveway...but she fell, and she fell hard.

My immediate fear was that it was bad, really bad. And although I was only a foot away, I couldn't get to her quick enough. I swooped her into my arms, held her tight and said a super fast prayer asking her to be ok before I could look. I was so afraid at what I would see. Thankfully, her face wasn't bad. But her poor mouth was busted. And those poor 2 front teeth (that have met the concrete on other days) were busted once again. Blood and tears and MY fear for her simply overwhelmed me.

I hate to see my children hurt. In those moments, I feel completely helpless and helpless is a terrible feeling. I just wanted to snap my fingers and make her hurt go away, make the blood and swelling stop and just make her okay. These are the Mommy moments that are the hardest. So, I held her and talked to her and tried to calm her as she snuggled closer to my chest. Being a holiday, at 7:00 at night, I knew finding a dentist would be next to impossible. Calling everyone we new in the dental field in the next few minutes was all I knew to do. Thankfully my mother is a nurse and was watching all the 'medical' things and my mother in law works at a dental office and called the dentist for me. He told us what to do and we did. A little while later she was back on her feet and playing. She was still hurting but also not wanting to miss anything.

Today, I woke with an urgency to see what I could do. What I found out late last night is that all the dentists that were on my mental list to get into today (Bug's dentist is out of town) are all out of town. However, we have good people around us. After a quick phone to Bug's hygienist, she confirmed what I was already feeling. I soon after swooped her up and took her to a hygienist that lives nearby and she again confirmed. No dentist today...we will wait til Monday and do all that these 2 woman suggested. After coming home, Dr. B calls and again confirms and offers a few more suggestions to get us through the weekend.

See, I knew what I needed to do today. Her mouth looked better, but she still needs to be seen. But panic is never good. Panic makes you not think clearly. And last night I was truly panicked. Seeing my baby hurt is absolutely the worst thing EVER.

So, Monday we may be at the dentist instead of gymnastics...
Not such a good start to our week. Trying to be optimistic...these are baby teeth. Hoping they will hang in with us for a little longer, but if not...at least they aren't permanent teeth?

All this panic and fear over Bug's bumps and boo boo's really got me thinking. I was terrified at how much she seemed to be in pain. I just wanted to make it better. I was literally sick to my stomach, had to get a sprite to calm it. It wasn't the blood, but the fear that she was really hurt and I could not make her better.

Over the past few weeks I've followed the story of a little girl name Teresa. Teresa was adopted and has fought a battle most of her life. She recently received a new heart...and then the transplant failed. And soon after, Teresa was given her wings and was met at Heaven's gate. It broke my heart for this family. But sitting there last night with, what seems very very very minor in compassion to sweet Teresa....the fear I had as a mother, how does that even compare to the battle that Teresa and her family fought? So, I sit here tonight pondering life...and death. Pondering how parents with children in these situations must feel constantly, not knowing if the next simple cold will take their child's life.

So to all you Mommy's out there fighting battles of life and death, or simple bumps and boo boo's...I will pray for your tears and fears. I pray that no matter the severity of your little ones boo boo, that you know exactly what to say to comfort and love and calm your little one. And for those of us with small boo boo's....please reach out and say an extra prayer for those Mommy's with children with big boo boo's.
 

{before the big fall}

I know my sweet girl's big smile will return to normal soon. And for that I am thankful.

xoxo