Our Summer...

I have been a terrible blogger this summer...but it's because I have enjoyed every second with both my kiddos home. I hear so many moms plead for summer to end so the kids can go back to school and I desperately want it to continue. I love having my kids home!! Now, don't get me wrong...we have bad days...days when we all need a break from one another, but for the most part, it's just great!

So, since I haven't blogged much this summer, let me fill you in on what we did!

We went to Stone Mountain in Atlanta. My kids loved going to the very top so they could see 'the whole world!!

MeMe at the top of Stone Mountain with all of her Grands.

A little bowling.

Go-carting with my favorite lil dude

Meeting Blue, our newest pup. He found us....and the kids said he had to stay.

We harvested our first garden. This is Hulk's...grown all by himself.

We spent a weekend with all these amazing families who we adore.

Countless trips to the splash pad

Aliens landed in the back yard.

We fished until dark.

Morning movies, Dairy Queen and arcades

Bug learned to ride a bike.

Made a fabulous trampoline sprinkler that is still a favorite on hot days.

Spent a wonderful day trip to the beach with cousins.

And another pic of Blue...because he's so stinkin cute...

There is so much more to this summer and I was sad to see it end. I declared at the end of the school year that we would have a 70's summer....the kids would have to find their own entertainment. Now, that's not to say that I wouldn't do things with them, or we wouldn't go places. But it was by far a budget summer and I was not going to be providing all the entertainments. I wanted them to use their imaginations, and draw and paint, read books and take in the things in our own community. We had occasional treats like, morings at the theater, or afternoons at the splash pad or park. Bowling with cousins and a few rentals from red box. But mostly, they played and played and played. They created and enjoyed being with each other. They used their imaginations. The rocketship that landed in the backyard? It took all day for them to make it (and I'm still thankful to our neighbors for the fantastic box)...today, 2+months later, they are STILL playing in that rocketship. It now has lights and air conditioning, and they inside is tagged with their artwork. It is fantastic. This by far, has been the best summer break so far. And next summer, we will do it all again!

Hulk has now started 4th grade and I am ever amazed at how fast time is flying. My smart, compassionate, silly boy is now 9...and I have no idea how that happened. Bug and I will start Mommy school the first week of Sept. Our schedule of school and homework is settling in and life is returning back to normal. Well, whatever 'normal' means for our little family!

This is hard...

Adoption is hard.
It is emotionally difficult.
It is draining.
It is hard.

I continue to repeat things to myself:
"as long as each child has a family...that is what matters. It is ok if it is not us"
"Maybe God brought this situation to us, so this little one could be covered in prayer?"
"We agreed, that if this didn't happen, we are ok"
"An open door for adoption...means it could happen at any time"
"It's ok that this is hard. It is easy for us compared to the mothers considering adoption"
"This is God's journey...and we are simply along for the ride"

But let me tell ya...it. is. hard.

The last couple of weeks, we have been called about 2 different situations. Both were children who needed to be placed quickly. Both tore open our hearts and made us examine every aspect of our lives and family. Both made us wonder if we were strong enough. Both made us realize that this is a journey like no other.

We are about as wide open as you can get when it comes to this adoption. Age, race, gender, special needs. In the past couple of weeks, we were called about a toddler and a baby to be born in a couple of weeks. 2 different situations. The toddler had significant needs and a lot of unknowns. Many things that were a bit unexplained...was it due to neglect? Is it something that could improve with a team of medical professionals? Or not? The baby is expected to have a brain deformity as well as some other possible issues. His unknowns have a HUGE range of possibilities. Both of these children tugged at us. And our hearts wanted to say yes yes yes! But after much prayer and soul searching and thinking about our 2 children and the makeup of our family...we had to say no to both situations.
It is a horrible feeling.

I never heard back on the first situation, but I know that there is a wonderful family out there who is equipped to handle his needs. And for the baby that we have spent the past couple of days praying about...lifting his parents up...praying for peace and unity about the decision.....we found out today that a family stepped up for him. A forever family who felt like he was meant for them.
My heart rejoiced!

As much as we want to say yes to each and every child that comes our way, we have to make ourselves step back and evaluate.
It is hard.

So, as I sit here tonight indulging in the leftover chocolate frosting from tonight's cupcakes as I drown my sorrows of uncertainty...I am also celebrating for the family who put there yes on the table for this baby to be born soon. Adoption is about finding a family for each and every child...it is NOT about us. Not every child is meant for us. We are not the best fit for every child.

But I rejoice that we ARE for 2 amazing kiddos who are already in our family. I cannot imagine our lives with these two. They drive me insane at times...but they are my world and I am thankful for each and every second we share. God is good...He is faithful. He has proven it time and again. And I know, that if it is His will
...then He will again.

Adoption update

I haven't updated our journey in awhile. Not because I haven't wanted to...but because it seems like we've had such little movement. But looking back, we've actually had a lot. We started this particular adoption with our YES on the table. We asked for God's will to be done. And while we both want that to mean that there is another child out there for us, we also know that only God knows the answer to this. We have a heart for children and are pretty wide open. Gender, race, up to age 4, medical needs, drug exposure, etc. But while we hope this journey ends in adoption, the truth is, well, we just don't know. We pour our whole hearts into a situation when we hear about it. I pray over the mother and child and pray she finds the perfect family. A few times, we have felt the need to present our family as well. This has happened several times this year.

Many of you know that we met with a mother late last year and spoke with her about adoption. We had hoped that if she placed her child for adoption that she would place with us. She delivered in January and we lost contact. It simply was not God's will. And that is ok. We had total peace. We covered this mother and her child in prayers before he was born...and continue to do so today.

Soon after that, we presented to a mother and father who was soon to deliver their son. There was a chance that this soon to be baby boy would have a life changing diagnosis. We said yes and presented our family. Upon delivering their son, they chose to parent. And that is ok. We commited to lifting him in prayer and his parents...and we continue to pray for them today.

A month ago, I received an email from an attorney about a baby boy (already born). Long story short, he was rocking Down Syndrome and needed a family. She thought about us...and we were so incredibly excited. However, she had a wrong number for us and couldn't reach us before reaching out to other families. We were a little disappointed...but the point of adoption is finding families for children who need families. And she did. She found a great family for this little boy. We wished it had been us..but it simply wasn't meant to be. And that is ok. I continue to lift him in prayer as well as his new family.

Last week, we heard about a beautiful toddler boy whose mother was considering an adoption plan. Everything about this situation pulled at our hearts. We put our yes on the table and asked to be presented to this mother. Today, she viewed info about interested families. I prayed...all day. And yesterday afternoon found out that we were not the family that she chose. Honestly, it hurt. But it is ok. It was not meant to be. I will continue to pray for this beautiful boy, his bmom and his new family.

I say all of that to say...adoption is complicated. And being in an adoption process with no clear direction is difficult as well. We commited to having an 'open door' for adoption. We are here if a child is in need of a family. We are here if a mother considering adoption needs a shoulder to lean on. We are here. We have no idea where our journey will lead. Each day brings different questions. Each day, I have the opportunity to talk to famlies considering adoption. I've had the opportunity to talk to mothers considering adoption. And the many times I've had the opportunity to pray over these mothers and their children has been incredible. And this is the journey that we will continue.

Is there another child out there for us? I don't know. I pray there is!! We are ready. We have our hearts prepared. And we will continue forward.

If you are mother considering adoption, we would love to talk with you. If you are an agency looking for a family, we would love to talk with you. If you are a family wanting more information about adoption, we would love to talk with you. This particular journey has opened my eyes so much. And for that, I am thankful. 

All Roads Lead Home - Custom Images

I am sooo excited about this! I have been brainstorming about something creative, something fun and something that means something special to each family. I have gone over and over in my head different things, but in the end, nothing seemed 'just right'...until this. I am in LOVE with these images.

You see, each family, whether, biological or adoptive, is different. Each family came to each other differently. It all started with love, and then a family grew.

How did you meet? Were you neighbors growing up? Did you meet in college? Blind date? Chance meeting at the ballpark? Fender bender at the local grocery store? Did you start your family at once? Go through a journey to meet your child/ren? Move a million times in between each child? Or grow your family in the same town you grew up?

See...we are all very very different! Your journey is just that...YOUR journey, and no one else will ever have the same story!

I created this image for our family and fell in love. Hubs and I were born in the same state, about 30 minutes (and a year-ish) from one another. One child was born in another state and another child in another country. Our beginnings all looked different, but all roads led home...to our family. It is our journey...and our journey is not over yet!

I ran out today and had a quick print made of our family image. I LOVE it!! I had hoped to have it matted and framed for this photo, but the afternoon got crazy so here it is! I have big plans for the kids hallway and it includes this print!

Wouldn't you love a custom image like this for YOUR family, to represent YOUR journey? Awesome! Simply click the donate button under this image, and don't forget to add the following info about your family:
Husband: State or Country born
Wife: State or Country born
Children: Current age, gender, Country or state born
And please make sure I have your email address. 

Once your custom image is created, I will simply email it to you and you can print at the location of your choice. Just that easy! And I would LOVE to see yours once you have it printed! If you are on instagram, you can tag me @brinawynne and #themessageisclear

Update 4/28/14: I am overwhelmed with the response from each of you! I knew *I* loved this, but had no idea if anyone else would. Thank you so much!!! Sooo, to answer a few questions that have been asked the last couple of days.

Can the quote be different? YES! If you have something in mind, just let me know. 

I don't see a spot to leave my information? Just add it in the 'notes' to seller spot in paypal.

I forgot to leave my information? No problem, email me at foreverblessedbyadoption@gmail.com

We were all born in the same state...ours will looking boring! Nope, I will use different maps to mix it up a bit.

What size are these? Good question! I'm trying to size so that you will have the option to crop to the size needed. However, with larger families, panoramic really is the best option. 

Where do I get these printed? Anywhere really, but I've found just running to the local print shop (Office Depot, Office Max etc) works well. They can work with the size you need and adjust/crop etc. Since the image background is white, it is easier for them to work with to if you need it printed on a larger size than what I have created. I chose a white matte cardstock for mine and love it.

What is your turn-around time? I'm trying my best to get these back within 48-72 hours. Just a quick as I can!

Do you need the city we were born? No, I'm really focusing on the state (or country if born outside the USA) instead of the city. 

Are the maps you use old? I'm using all types of maps, so yes, many are old. Many look aged and some are new with bright colors. I'm using them all, because I think a wide variety represents the many different people that we are.  

4/29/14: I am working on orders from 4/28 today. I am going with Hulk on a feild trip tomorrow so if you message me and I don't reply it's because I'll be hanging out with several of my favorite 8 and 9 year olds. :) I promise, I am trying my very best to get these out just as quickly as I can. And again...a million thank you's to each of you!!!!

$20 and I will have it back to you within 48-72 hours. 

And....THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! 

I hope we can announce some big news soon, and as always, ask for your continued prayers!
Either way, I will update our journey later this week. :)

Don't forget that Mother's Day is just around the corner. A gift for yourself perhaps? What about an image representing grandchildren? So many options!

Adding a few that I've created....

 

Notice anything? Yep...every one is different, just like every family is different!

Spring Cleaning - Refreshing the Shutters

Now that Spring is finally here, I'm getting motivated to fix up a few things around the house. This happens every Spring, and every year, we manage to let things slip by. For about a month, Hubs and I have been trying to decide what color to paint the shutters and front door. And the shutters are vinyl, so do we paint or just purchase new ones? They look awful and we have to do something. ugh! Well, who knows, because we can't come to a decision about the color. We just can't agree. What I REALLY want, he doesn't want at all. That's typically the way it goes, right? That's fine!

When we moved into this house several years ago, the shutters were already starting to fade, and it's just been worse and worse over the years. And since we can't come to a decision on color, I quit putting thought into it. Until this week, when I walked past the bucket of car wash supplies.

Ding Ding Ding!!

These are vinyl shutters! Surely this would work right?

Less than 10 minutes later and all of the shutters are finished...and they look great! I mean, they look brand new! Maybe this is knowledge that everyone has....but I clearly had no idea that this could be an option. I'm attaching a photo of a couple of windows with one completed and the others in there old sad state of fading. Whoa what a difference! I left that one done for a couple of days. I knew rain was coming and wanted to see what would happen. Rain came and rain went, and the shutter remained the same. Now...will I have to redo these soon? I have no idea, but for now, I could not be any happier! And even if I need to redo them soon...what's 10 minutes, vs painting or even worse purchasing new shutters?

A fresh coat of paint on the front and back doors and I'm calling it done!

Family needed for 10 Year old Boy!

First, let me cover some bases please. I do NOT work for or am I affiliated with any adoption professional...I'm just a mom with a heart for children and a mom who has been blessed a million times over by adoption. 

I've been in the adoption community for awhile and from time to time am asked if I know of families that may be interested in certain situations. Sometimes I do...and other times I do not. In those cases, I ask everyone I know and often find a connection. 

More and more recently, I've been contacted about sharing information via my blog. I have put a lot of thought and prayer over doing this. Over the past few months I have watched as several new families have been created by the power of social media and blog networking. So, with that said, here is a new adoption opportunity that has been asked to be shared via this blog. I will post new information if any is given at a later date. For now, the only information I can share is listed here. Contact the adoption professional listed for additional information or to ask any questions. 
As with any adoption opportunity, please do your own research on any adoption professionals. 

****
PLEASE NOTE:
 To be considered you must have a current Home Study! Please do not inquire if you do not have a current homestudy. Time is crucial in finding this young boy a family, and inquiring without the needed requirements only takes time away from sorting through families who could possibly move forward. Thank you for understanding! If you would like to help this child, please forward this blog post to anyone you think may be interested.

4/15/14 - Posted

10 year old African boy, currently living on the West Coast. Any family, with a current homestudy, can inquire for more information regarding this young man. He can be adopted by a family in any state.

This young man was adopted from an African orphanage at the age of 4. He is very healthy and has not missed any school due to illness. He is nearsighted and requires glasses. He hasn't had any surgeries, is not allergic to foods or medications. He has no mental or physical disabilities. 

He is a smart boy showing strength in mathematics. He receives good grades in school and tests at grade level in all subjects. 

There is additional information to those who are currently homestudy approved and genuinely interested in this possibility.

If you would like additional information, please contact Marian at marian@loveandhopeadoptions.org

Please share with your friends...you never know who his new family will be!

Oh where oh where have I been?

Wow, I just looked back and realized that it has been a long time since I've updated the blog!

Whoops! I've had a few people ask about our adoption journey and if we had any updates? Well, not really. We have presented to a couple of moms over the last couple of months but we have not been the right family. And that is totally ok. See we are in this journey because we felt led to have an 'open door' for adoption. If God wants us to adopt again, than He will allow it to happen. He will allow our child to find us and us to find our child. While it's hard not to get our hopes up when we hear about a child being placed for adoption, we have to remind ourselves, that if this is the child God has meant for us, then it will happen. It is not in our hands. We simply pray that when we present our profile to a mother considering adoption, that she is able to see exactly who we are. And that if she feels connected to us, that she will choose us. But we want her to find the perfect family that she is looking for...and that may not be us. And that is ok.

People are often asked how they can help:

First, simply pray for mothers considering adoption. Pray that she are at total peace with their decision. Pray that if she wants to parent, that she will find a way. Pray that if adoption is the choice, that she finds the right family. And pray that if we are that family, that we all have a wonderful connection. 

Share. If you hear of a mother considering adoption or a baby/child looking for a family, let us know. Share about our family. Share this blog. You never know who will see. We are not signed with an agency or a specific organization this time. We are flexible in all things and our hope for a child is wide open. Any gender, any race, medical needs, drug exposure and up to 4.

Funding. This is the hardest part of adoption (other then the emotional side that it can bring). I hate that adoption involves money...but it does. Even in the most simple adoption, legal fees are involved. But in most cases, there are legal fees for all parties, agency fees, medical fees for mother and baby, travel expense (often weeks away in another state), post placement fees and finalization court fees. It adds up and sadly we just don't have it on hand. BUT we do believe whole heartily that God funds what He favors. So while we are here saving every extra nickle and dime we can, there may also come a time when we launch another fundraiser to help put a little back. I ask that if that happens, that you help us by sharing, praying for the fundraiser and contributing if you feel led.

So, that is a quick update! Other things going on:
Baseball season has started once again. We are at the ballpark at least 2 nights a week watching Hulk play. I love this season! There is just something about watching your son play ball while eating peanuts. ah! Love it!!!

Bug has always loved gymnastics, but the last several weeks has shown amazing improvements. She has always been in a small preschool class (5 or less kiddos), but for the past several weeks, her class has been smaller and smaller resulting in several weeks of privates with her awesome teacher. I have been amazed at her focus and determination. Looks like Level 1 is just around the corner!

Just thinking...10 things on my mind.

1. Adoption comes from loss. 
Our children will grieve the loss of their birth parents and we will grieve with them. We go through things with our children that you may never understand. We hold our children as they cry over someone that they are forever connected too...and yet may have never met or may not remember. It's okay that you don't understand, you don't have to. But please understand that it can be difficult...watching your child hurt, hurts you as well.

2. Love is awesome...but it's not always enough in adoption. 
Children who have been adopted need a lot. They need validation and acceptance. They need to find themselves and understand who they are and where they come from. Each child copes with their adoption differently. And while love isn't enough...it certainly doesn't hurt to reinforce how much I love my children. So, I tell them all. the. time. I especially tell them during the hard times...we all feel unlovable at times, and I want my children to know that they are loved...at all times...forever and ever.

3. I am not color blind. 
*do I hear a gasp from the audience?* Yes, I see my children's beautiful brown skin. Just like I see what color shirts they are wearing and what color toy they are holding. Their skin is part of them and ignoring it or pretending I don't see it...well, that's crazy. We talk about race in our family. Both of our children are very aware that our family looks different than many others. I think *not* talking about something makes it appear shameful. We don't discuss race every waking second, but when the opportunity arises, we discuss it. If parents don't openly talk about something, it makes it more difficult for a child to bring up the subject. So, we talk about race. We talk about differences. We also talk about similarities. As much as we all look different from one another, we are also very much alike.

4. I often forget my children are adopted.
I know that is hard for many to believe. But there are times that I actually forget that my children were not born to me. Those moments at the doctors office when completing family medical histories...more than once I have completed it and then ask for another form. Why? Because the history I just reported is NOT my kids medical history. They were not born to me and we do not share the same history. But it's happened more than once...and I'm sure it will happen again. And a couple of times when I look blankly at someone after asking 'How old was she when you adopted'...and my reply is 'how did you know she was adopted?'. Yes, sometimes I do this to be funny, but there have been a few times that I seriously wondered how they knew!!
I simply can not imagine loving my children any more even if they were born to me. I would give my life for them. I would do anything for them. They are my heart!

5. I will always be my child's advocate...always.
No matter how young or old, I will always be their advocate. I will always be by their side. Just as you will do whatever it takes to protect your child. So will I. My children both came to us with little to no medical history. So, if the time comes, I will do whatever I have to do to for them medically. If they are in a situation at school that others don't understand, I will be there to protect them and be there if needed. Even if it's as simple as a family tree project that you may not think is a big deal...but my children do.

6. I have friends that I feel are super close and yet I've never actually met them.
Yep. Don't think I'm crazy when I'm talking about my friend...and can't remember her last name or exactly what state she lives in. I know it sounds strange, but I have friends that I've known for nearly a decade through adoption. Friends that have traveled the same journey as we have. Friends whose children are the same age as mine and are currently experiencing the same things as we are. Friends who I know will understand when my everyday, in real life, friends may not. That doesn't mean that my real life friends aren't important (you are!!)...but I know that if you haven't 'been there, done that', you may not relate as well as my adoption buddies.

7. I may become invisible when you are talking about your pregnancy. 
It's not because I'm jealous, or not interested. It's simply because I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. I don't want you to feel awkward around me when you realize that I'm just listening and not contributing. I understand your passion about your pregnancy and your baby. But I just don't have anything to say as I haven't been through it. Just think about how you would feel if you were in the midst of a bunch of adoptive mommies talking homestudies, dossiers, ICPC, USCIS, I171, fingerprints, clearances, revocation periods, relationships, agreements, visas etc. Could you relate if you haven't been through an adoption? It's the same if you haven't been through a pregnancy. And while I have never had the desire to be pregnant, many of my adoptive mommy friends have. And the inability to carry a child is a loss...and they simply don't want to be reminded of that loss.

8. Our children's story is just that...THEIR story. 
While we are a wide open book about adoption...we are not a wide open book about our children's story...ie, the reason they joined our family. We love their birth mothers and are forever thankful that they each chose life and ultimately adoption. But the reasons behind those decisions are not mine to tell. While many do know much of their stories, I will not tell a stranger, so don't ask.

9. Please think before you speak. 
People almost always approach us in stores, at the grocery, at the park, etc. They ask about adoption, raising a multiracial family, etc. If you are truly interested in learning more about adoption, I will be happy to talk to you. If you are being nosey, sorry, I will kindly blow you off.
But, no matter which category you fall into, please watch what you say and how you say it and please notice that my children are around. Remember that they have ears and can hear you. I do understand that you may not know proper adoption etiquette, and I'm not easily offended, but my children are not always as understanding as I am. When they hear things like 'who's their real mom' or 'do you have any of your own kids'...it makes their sweet little hearts wonder if they are not my children and if I'm suddenly a pretend mommy. And for the record, I am not invisible or pretend, so I must be be real.

10. I will get angry if you talk poorly about my children's birth mothers. 
I have never met either, but I love them. The reasons my children were placed for adoption are both as different as they are....but they chose LIFE over the alternative. And they chose adoption for a life they could not provide. I love them. I am not intimidated by either. They both have an important role in my childrens lives. And while they are not actively involved in their lives at this moment...that doesn't mean it will always be that way. I fully expect to be searching for both one day. Adoption is the marriage of two families. They are our family. These woman gave life to my children.
They gave them life. They gave them LIFE. They. Gave. Them. Life.
How could I not love them?

Canvas Cuties...THANK YOU!!

I wanted to take a second and say THANK YOU to all who supported in this super quick fundraiser. Hulk is beyond thrilled that it went so well. We will start painting tonight!!! Thanks soooo much for your support and for making Hulk's heart grow just a little bigger. He has a heart for others, a heart for orphans, a heart for adoption.

He has said time and time again...'all kids should have a family'.

That is so simple. And yet, so many take it for granted. Hulk does not remember not having a family...but the truth is, one day he too was without a mommy to tuck him in at night or a daddy to play ball with. And while he doesn't remember it...he does understand that his life could be much different than it is today.

But, what we all know is...this is how God planned his life. God knew that he would be our son. God knew that his heart would be this big. And I know God has amazing plans for Hulk's life.

HE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!

He's already changed my world...

Canvas Cuties - Adoption Fundraiser! HOPE!!

Our kids LOVE to paint! They love to mix paints and sit and create art. While spending a little time creating some artwork this past weekend, my son had a fantastic idea for a fundraiser. I love that my kids 'get adoption'. I love that they pray each day for another brother or sister. I love that they want to be involved in the process.

Hulk's idea: "What if we make something that people will love and give it for a few days...then make something else and give it for a few days. I'll help paint!!!" ~Hulk

See, I think this is a fantastic idea!! So, we painted our first item on Saturday and I have to say...I LOVE IT!!! I am excited about this and so is Hulk. And I'm sure Bug will jump in and help too!

So, this is how it will work:
The item below will be available this week 1/13-1/15 (Mon-Wed). There is no price on these, it will be donation only. Any amount you choose is greatly appreciated!! The kids and I will make everything on Thursday and Friday and mail them out on Saturday. That's it! Easy Peasy Lemon Squeesy!

Hulk's goal for this week....20!! Do you think we can make it to 20?!

So here it is! So cute, huh?!
4x4 Canvas, blue and red with burlap ribbon. I always love an anchor.
It represents HOPE! "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul..." Hebrews 6:19  
Cute for a wall hanging, for the office, for the door or anywhere else you can think of.

UPDATE!
A HUGE thank you to all who donated to Hulk's fundraiser!!! He was incredibly excited when I told him the number that we needed to paint. We had a great time painting them and putting them together. The last couple of weeks have been crazy busy around here. Life happened and we all know how things change on a dime when we don't need them to. All that to say...these are going out in the mail and delivered to the locals very soon!!! They are so cute and I'm so proud of Hulk for putting his heart into these!!! And again...thank you! Thank you for your support!!!!